America’s Top Seven Most Hated Substances

With the ever encroaching nanny state movement in America let’s stop and look at some of the most silliest things the feds have decided to disallow the use, importation, possession and/or sale of to protect you from yourself.

  • 7. Cuban Cigars

    Ever since president Kennedy imposed a trade embargo on Cuba in 1962 these fine smokeables have been off limits to us residents of the United States. Although some would argue tobacco shouldn’t be qualified as ‘harmless’, Cuban Cigars are no more harmful than any other cigar or cigarette widely available throughout the US. According to his press secretary, Kennedy had a private shipment of one-thousand Petit Corona brand cubans delivered the day he signed the embargo. Today three to seven million Cuban Cigars are smuggled over and bought over the internet by cigar aficionados in the states while your tax dollars work hard to stop them from doing that.

  • 6. Salvia

    Although not illegal at a federal level in the United States, the psychoactive herb Salvia Divinorum is illegal in some states and has enjoyed severe demonization from media outlets hoping to use parental fears to get a few more viewers. This entheogenic plant causes a short and relatively mild psychedelic experience in the user; studies have concluded that the only long term effect of Salvia use in humans is an antidepressant like effect. Despite it’s relatively harmless nature compared to most scheduled substances, news stations continue makes claims to the effect that this plant is going to make their young children go insane, playing on parental fears and giving neglectful parents another scapegoat to latch on to all for ratings. Salvia can still be obtained by curious americans in many headshops and over the internet at this point, but there is no telling when it will be classified as a scheduled substance by the federal government.

  • 5. Absinthe

    An emerald green tincture of anise, fennel, wormwood, and other herbs, absinthe is said to gain a characteristic lucid and creative feeling to the drunk it provides thanks to the chemical known as Thujone found in the wormwood. Enjoyed by parisian artists in the eighteen and nineteen hundreds, this liquor was banned thanks to propaganda by the temperance movement suggesting that it caused violent crimes. Since then Absinthe has largely been found to be no more harmful than alcohol but it remains banned in the United States and many european countries. Wormwood free Absinthe can be found here but americans looking for the real stuff will have to look at questionably legal online importers.

  • 4. Unpasteurized Milk

    For centuries humans have drank cow milk the way it comes out of the cow, then some guy named Louis Pasteur comes along and does a few experiments and shows you can reduce the chances of bacteria by boiling the crap out of your food. Fast forward to the late twentieth century, it’s now illegal in many states within the US to sell milk that hasn’t gone through this process which dramatically alters the flavor and texture of the milk, in fact, the FDA even made it illegal to smuggle this sinister brew across state lines! Believe it or not, a large thriving black market exists within the US, using loopholes and clandestine shipping practices, to get raw milk out for illegal use in cereal bowls all across the country.

  • 3. Industrial Hemp

    Now here is a plant that has a lot of uses. The fiber rich stems of the hemp plant can be used to make many products including paper, clothes, and rope, while the seeds can be used to make fuel for vehicles or eating, or even provide a healthy snack! Unfortunately, everyone making paper, clothes, rope, fuel for vehicles, etc. used this money and lobbying power to convince the US government to ban the cultivation of industrial hemp under the guise that it is somehow related to hemp’s relation to the marijuana plant. A bad lie considering smoking industrial hemp won’t do much more than give you a headache.

  • 2. Embryonic Stem Cells

    The stem cells that exist in a human embryo when it is first formed hold the potential to be able to form any kind of cell from a human body, offering possibly treatments to numerous conditions and diseases such as bone marrow deficiencies, leukemia, and spinal cord injuries. When the potential of these cells was discovered the fact that research on them required a live human embryo angered many people. Recently, a new technique to create embryonic stem cells was discovered that no longer required human embryos, bafflingly enough, conservative groups in America remain opposed to research on these new, non-fetus-killing, stem cells citing ideological reasons.

  • 1. Marijuana

    This may not be the most harmless item on this list, although raw milk probably kills more people yearly, this most certainly is the most irrationally hated substance in America. A safer and less powerful alternative to alcohol that also has many medical benefits, for some reason the federal government takes no issue with violating the rights granted to the states by the constitution to stop any movement to change the total prohibition of this chemical. This year alone approximately $31,637,158,515 of tax payer money has been spent keeping medicine out of the hands of cancer patients and putting those who seek a hangover free buzz behind bars.


One Response to “America’s Top Seven Most Hated Substances”

  1. blackwingbear Says:

    Thank you for this honest look at the hypocrisy of U.S. and international law! These substances listed are mostly harmless and it is nothing more than bureaucracy that keeps them illegal…

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